Of Miracles and Hardships
by Pissed Off Poet1
Summary: Finial Chapter is now up! When something tragic happens, who knows what miracles and hardships it will bring
1. The Game that ended it all

(Standard disclaimers apply, please read and review.)  
  
Sturgis ran along side of the gurney in shock. How could this have happened? He was broken out of his reverie by a nurse shaking his arm.  
  
"Sir, does the patient have any family that can be called?"  
  
"Yeah," Sturgis said slowly, still keeping his eyes locked on Harm lying motionless on the bed, surrounded by wires and tubes. "His mother, but she lives in California. I'll try and get the number," he said not moving from his spot. "Is he going to be okay?"  
  
"Well have to run some tests, and see. Why don't you go wait in chairs, and I'll have the doctor come and get you when we know something," the nurse said kindly and led Sturgis to waiting room. Sturgis sat down on the hard chairs in the nearly empty waiting room, his mind still reeling from what happened.  
  
(One hour earlier)  
  
Harm and Sturgis were playing basketball like they do most nights, but tonight they were both venting from a hard day in court. Their client had been found guilty, like both Harm and Sturgis knew he would be, but instead of just taking it like a man, he knocked out the guard, took his gun, and killed himself.  
  
Harm and Sturgis spent the next two hours in blood splattered uniforms filling out the necessary paperwork, regretting not being able to stop the petty officer in time.  
  
"Hey, Sturgis; why don't we go down to the gym and play some ball?"  
  
"Sounds good man, say around 1400?"  
  
"I'll see you then," Harm said heading towards the elevators  
  
(1400 hours)  
  
"Ready to play some ball," Harm asked throwing an easy lay up into the basket.  
  
"Only if you're ready to get your six kicked," Sturgis said grabbing the ball, and throwing a two point shot.  
  
"Ha, in your dreams"  
  
After some hoarse play, they decided one a game of twenty one, talking while they played.  
  
"So did you and Mac have a nice weekend?" Sturgis asked stealing the ball.  
  
"What makes you think Mac and I spent the weekend together?" Harm asked making missing his shot.  
  
"I overheard you and Mac talking about taking you bi-plane up."  
  
"What are you, the office gossip now?"  
  
"I'm just relaying what I heard. Remember on Friday when I was bringing you the Carl's deposition?"  
  
"Ah," Harm said finally making his shot.  
  
"So did you?" Sturgis asked.  
  
"Yeah it was okay. But we didn't spend the whole weekend together. Just one afternoon," Harm said blocking Sturgis's shot.  
  
"It seems like you two are doing a lot of that lately."  
  
"Doing what?" Harm said stopping and looking at his friend.  
  
"Spending a lot of time together," Sturgis said innocently.  
  
"We're friends, Sturgis. That's what friends do. That's what we're doing. I am teaching Mac how to fly. She's getting pretty good at it. She'll be ready to get her license soon I think."  
  
"Are you thinking about taking your relationship to the next level?"  
  
"Sturgis I thought you said you would stay out of this?"  
  
"Hey man, I'm just looking out for the best interests of my friends."  
  
"Do you know something I don't?" Harm asked in his interrogator voice.  
  
"Whoa, power down there man, I'm just asking."  
  
"Sorry Sturgis," Harm said passing him the ball.  
  
"Listen man, I'm not one to be giving you advice, but-"  
  
"You're right you don't."  
  
"Harm if you love her then tell her."  
  
"Sturgis you don't understand."  
  
"What is there to understand?"  
  
"It's complicated."  
  
"Listen Harm, I'm not gonna push you about this tonight, but- "  
  
"Good, then don't."  
  
"But you and Mac need to talk about this."  
  
"I thought we came here to play, not discuss my personal life."  
  
After what seemed like hours, Harm and Sturgis were about to call it a night. One point more and Sturgis would win. They were standing close to the basket; Harm was trying to block Sturgis's shot, when Sturgis bumped Harm with his shoulder sending him head first into the pole.  
  
Sturgis watched in horror as Harm's neck bounced of the pole with a sickening crack.  
  
"Harm!"  
  
But he got no answer. Sturgis ran to his bag and pulled his cell phone, while Harm was lying unconscious by the basket, the ball bouncing towards the door.  
  
(Present time)  
  
Sturgis paced the waiting-room, waiting for some word on Harm's condition. He had been taking up to surgery almost four hours ago, and there was still no word. He had gotten hold of the Admiral who had made the call to his mother. Now the whole gang waited with him waiting for someone to come and talk to them. The only thing that they knew was that Harm broke his neck, and there was pressure on his spinal cord.  
  
"Is anyone here for Commander Rabb," a doctor in scrubs asked walking towards the waiting room. When the group stood up, the doctor seemed momentarily surprised that so many people were here for one man, but said nothing. There were more pressing matters to discuss. No pun intended.  
  
"What's going on doctor?" The Admiral asked.  
  
"Well the fall that the commander took was a bad one. When he broke his neck, it put pressure on his spinal cord."  
  
"What does that mean?" Harriet asked clutching Bud's sleeve.  
  
"It means that he is paralyzed from the waist down. I'm sorry."  
  
"For how long," Mac asked.  
  
"I'm afraid it could be permanent."  
  
"Could be?" Bud asked.  
  
"There is no telling until the pressure goes down."  
  
"So that could be days, week's maybe," Sturgis said hopefully.  
  
"I'm afraid I don't know. He is awake, and he knows what is going on. He is asking for everyone. But please keep it short, he need's his rest."  
  
Walking into Harm's room, everyone felt sick to their stomach. Here was their friend, their co worker that they loved so much, and now he would never walk again. He looked over at the group and offered a week smile.  
  
"Hey everybody," Harm said weakly.  
  
"How are you doing Commander?" The Admiral asked stepping closer to the bed.  
  
"I'm doing okay sir."  
  
We called your mother sir; she took a flight a little while ago, and should be here soon." Harriet said gently.  
  
"Thanks Harriet."  
  
"Do you want us to get you anything Harm," Mac asked trying to keep her emotions in check.  
  
"No, I'm okay," Harm said trying to keep his eyes open.  
  
"Try and get some sleep sir," Bud said.  
  
"We'll check in on you tomorrow Harm," the Admiral said patting Harm on the shoulder.  
  
"I'll be looking forward to it sir."  
  
But before the group could reach the door Harm called them back, "So I guess my career is over Admiral."  
  
The Admiral looked at Harm a long time before he could answer, "We'll see Commander."  
  
After the group walked out of his room and were in the parking lot, Harriet could no longer keep her question to herself.  
  
"Sir we both know that the commander can't go back to work. Why did you say-?"  
  
"Why did I tell him there was some hope? Because there still could be"  
  
TBC 


	2. Symapthy

(Standard disclaimers apply. I'm sorry for taking so long to update this, and I guess I should let you know, that this idea came from someone who actually went through something like this. I did change some things to fit the story, but other then that, this story was based on an actual event. The song Sympathy is a new one from the Goo Goo dolls. It's a great song, and I recommend everyone to listen to it. Please read and review.)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The drive home was the longest one that Mac ever took. But she didn't drive to her apartment; instead she drove over to Harm's place. She knew she couldn't get away with staying at the hospital, so she decided to sleep at Harm's. She knew he wouldn't mind, and right now, Mac needed to feel as close to him as possible. Digging through his drawers, she took out his Annapolis sweatshirt, and curled up under his blankets. She couldn't help but cry for her best friend.  
  
No matter how she tried though, she couldn't get the doctors voice out of head. He was paralyzed from the waist down, and would never walk again. How could life be so cruel? His career was over, he would never walk again, and he would never fly again. What would he do now? Mac hugged the pillow tightly, and cried herself to sleep. Not knowing how her relationship with Harm would be affected by the tragedy.  
  
Fade out.  
  
A few days later  
  
(Harm's POV)  
  
Jan. 4th  
  
Today a psychiatrist stopped by and gave me this notebook. He said if I wasn't going to talk about what about what I was feeling, than the next best thing to do was to write my feelings down. What a load of crap. But to please the doctors and my mother, I'll do it. But it's under protest.  
  
Jan. 5th  
  
I hate this. I hate it so much it is killing inside, earlier this morning the Admiral stopped by with my medical discharge. I was no longer a naval officer. I was just Harmon Rabb, cripple. I know I was being morbid, but after one damn accident everything I ever wanted was taken away. Mom and Frank flew this morning, and asked me what I was going to do now. How the hell did I know? Everything just happened so damn fast. No one asked me, if I wanted to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. And I admit I did get a little angry. They tried to comfort me, and tried to calm me down, but I was too angry and hurt to listen. I knew I was pushing them away, but I didn't know what else to do. After they left, I finally knew I was no longer the same. I would never be.  
  
Stranger the your sympathy  
  
This is my apology  
  
I'm killing myself from the inside out  
  
And all my fears have pushed you out  
  
I wish for things that I don't need  
  
All I wanted  
  
And what I chase won't set me free  
  
All I wanted  
  
And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees  
  
Jan. 6th  
  
It seems like I had an endless stream of visitors today. Bud and Harriet came by earlier this morning with little AJ. He was so happy to see me, and when he held up his arms and asked me to do 'airplane' I almost cried. Can you imagine? A big naval aviator-well former I guess, but could you imagine me crying? Bud and Harriet looked like they were going to faint, and so I did the only thing I could think of doing. I pulled him onto my lap, and told him maybe another time. He gave me a confused look, and then asked me why my legs don't work anymore. Bud and Harriet tried to hush him, but I was quicker. I told him I just didn't know, and he seemed satisfied with that. It was just so wrong.  
  
Oh everything's all wrong  
  
Everything's all wrong yeah  
  
Where the hell did I think I was?  
  
Jan. 7th  
  
Aside from the daily visits from my mom and step father, today Mac came to visit me. I know she was trying to cheer me up, but it wasn't working. She told me about the letter she got from her uncle Matt, and that Chloe was coming up for a visit next month. I know she was trying to stay away from certain topics like work, but I was glad she came by. There was something really important I needed to talk to her about.  
  
I knew that in a few weeks she would be getting her pilot's licenses, I told her, so I told her that I wanted her to have Sarah. She started protesting like I knew she would, but I told her that she was the only one who I trusted to take care of her. As soon as I handed her the paperwork, that did it for her, she started crying. I held her for the longest time and had to keep my own tears at bay. I couldn't think right now about how much I loved her and how much it hurt to know now that I have lost all my chances to be with her, why would she want someone stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, when she could do so much better? After she stopped we laughed and joked before she said she had to go. She didn't tell me why, but I know she had an early court date tomorrow, but didn't want to tell me. I wanted to cry after she left, but I sucked it up. I would have to.  
  
Stranger then your sympathy  
  
I take these things so I don't feel  
  
I'm killing myself from the inside out  
  
Now my head's been filled with doubt  
  
Jan. 8th  
  
I told them all today. I told the Admiral, Mac Bud and Harriet, that I was going back to California to live with Mom and Frank. Strangely Sturgis was the only one whom I haven't seen since the accident. I knew he felt guilty about this whole thing, but I don't blame him; only myself. They took it pretty well considering. But I knew that look in Mac's eyes. I knew what she was feeling. I would have to talk to her again in private. I knew the Admiral was disappointed that I was leaving, but hell, what could he do? After they left I was sad that Mac didn't stick around, but I knew she needed some time to sort things out. I was leaving the hospital in two days; I just hoped I would be able to talk to her before I left; Sturgis too.  
  
It's hard to lead the life you choose  
  
All I wanted  
  
When all your luck's run out on you  
  
All I wanted  
  
And you can't see when all your dreams are coming true  
  
Jan. 9th  
  
This morning, a physical therapist came by to offer to take me to the physical therapy room, for a workout. I was so happy, I could have kissed her. I worked about two hours, lifting weights, learning how to use my wheelchair, and learning new ways to exercise. It was the first time I cracked a smile since this whole thing started. For awhile there I almost forgot that I couldn't use my legs. The therapist just smiled, and said that exercise helps a lot of people. And that is how Mac found me, cracking jokes with the therapist. It was the first time that I had seen her smile since this whole thing started too.  
  
After the therapist left to let us talk, I knew it was now or never. I started off by telling how sorry I was. I told her that there was no place in Washington for e anymore. How would I support myself? In anger, she shot back that I had friends who would take care of me, friends that cared about me. I didn't know what to say to that. I knew I was letting everyone down. I hung my head, and sighed. I told her that I would never stop being her friend. That I would never stop caring for her, but it just hurt too much to stay. I guess she understood, because she left it at that.  
  
When I asked her about Sturgis, she just shook her head. She said that he had asked the Admiral for leave, and we haven't heard from him since. From what she told me, I knew that he was running. Now I knew Sturgis, and he wasn't the type of man that ran from his problems, but when he was pushed to his limit, he needed a little time to regroup. And I guess that he was just doing that. I just hoped I would be able to see him before I left.  
  
Oh yeah it's so easy to forget yeah  
  
You choke on the regrets yeah  
  
Who the hell did I think I was?  
  
  
  
Jan. 11th  
  
I know I didn't write yesterday, but from all the packing, everyone coming to visit one last time, I just didn't have any time. I asked Mac to come by at a certain time, so we could talk in private, and she did. She asked me again not to go, but I told her I just couldn't stay. I just couldn't stay in a place where I didn't belong anymore. But I told her that she would be okay. I promised her that I would keep in touch, that I would IM (Instant message) her, and call her everyday to see how she was doing. And that I would think about her everyday. She cried; I knew she would. I held her close, and just keep telling her that she was going to be okay. I didn't want to tell how much I loved her, and how much it was killing me that was leaving her, but I just couldn't. Sturgis still hasn't shown up. No one knows how to reach him.  
  
Stranger then your sympathy  
  
All these thoughts you stole from me  
  
I'm not sure where I belong  
  
Nowhere's home and I'm all wrong  
  
Jan. 12  
  
We flew to California, home, I guess, back on Frank's company jet. As I watched the city lights fade into the night, I knew the old saying was true. You could never go home again, and I never believed it until now. I could never go home again.  
  
And I wasn't all the things  
  
I tried to make believe I was  
  
And I wouldn't be the one who kneel  
  
Before all the dreams I wanted  
  
And all the talk and all the lies  
  
Were empty things disguised as me  
  
Yeah stranger then you sympathy stranger then  
  
Your sympathy  
  
TBC 


	3. Mac's new Partner

(PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! See chapter one for disclaimers. Thanks to Major Mackenzie for letting me bend her ear for ideas. If you have any questions or comments, please e mail me. AND DON'T FORGET TO READ AND REVIEW! )  
  
Feb. 16th  
  
True to my word, I am staying in touch with Mac. We IM each other every day, and she keeps me up to date on all of the case that pass through JAG. I do miss JAG, but I think after almost a month in a wheelchair, I'm starting to accept my fate.  
  
I'm still living with Mom and Frank, and I hate it that they have had to rearrange their life for me; the ramps, the special car they bought for me to go to work in, not to mention the driver that they hired for me.  
  
Did I mention that I have a job now? Well I found a small law firm that hired me. Sure they are uncomfortable with me being in a wheelchair, but once they read my military record, they hired me on the spot. I really like it their, but I still miss JAG.  
  
I was working on a pretty grim case this week. I prosecuted this guy murdered his wife and her lover, and he clamed self defense. The trial was slow, and I was so glad when it was over with. After that, thanks to my wheelchair friendly car, I convinced my driver, Harry, to drive me to the gym and worked out; limited of course.  
  
Feb. 21st  
  
I was on the net, getting info, about the latest case I was working on, when my IM beeped telling me Mac was on line. I smiled, and brought up the messenger board.  
  
HARM: Hey there Sundance.  
  
MAC: Hey Butch, how are you?  
  
HARM: I'm doing okay, how are you?  
  
MAC: Fine. Not much going on here.  
  
HARM: How is Sturgis?  
  
MAC: He came back from an investigation on the Seahawk, yesterday, but has mostly been keeping to himself. He's not really talkative.  
  
HARM: I've been trying to call him, but I can never get a hold of him.  
  
MAC: He blames himself for what happened.  
  
HARM: I know, and I can't make him understand that it wasn't his fault.  
  
MAC: Well if he keeps this up, the Admiral is going to get involved. he is just as worried about Sturgis as I am.  
  
HARM: I have an idea.  
  
MAC: What?  
  
HARM: Ask the Admiral, if he could order Sturgis to take a vacation. If the Admiral orders Sturgis to come over here to see me, then maybe we can talk about what happened. Sturgis is not one to run from his problems, so that's why it would be important for us to talk.  
  
MAC: Brilliant Harm.  
  
HARM: You see? I still have it.  
  
MAC: LOL. I never doubted you for a minute Harm. Hey I got to go, it's getting late. I'll talk to you tomorrow.  
  
HARM: Okay. Sweet dreams Sundance.  
  
MAC: You too Butch.  
March 3rd:  
  
Unfortunately the Admiral couldn't spare to give Sturgis time off, so I guess it was up to me to go talk to him. After a long talk with mom and Frank, we made planes for me to head out to Washington. I would stay at a hotel not far from JAG, have a driver escort me around, and thanks to Frank's company jet, my limitations caused no problems to get to Washington.  
  
I was nervous, of course, but I knew what I had to do. If Sturgis wasn't going to come and see me, well then it looks like I'll just have to go and see him.  
  
March 10:  
  
The driver met me at the airport, and off we went. I had him stop at the hotel firs, so I could get cleaned up before we went to JAG. No one knew that I was coming; I just hoped I wasn't coming at a bad time.  
  
It was hot out; not as hot as it would be in California, but still it was hot. Clad in shorts and a button down shirt, I rolled into the bullpen. I made it pretty far towards Mac's office with only a few people stopping to stare. I smiled and said hello, but I was intent on getting to Mac's office.  
  
I was almost there when a man in a lieutenant commanders uniform bumped into me, spilling his coffee all over my legs.  
  
"Watch where you're going!" he snapped, turning to look at me.  
  
I was about to say something, when Harriet walked over to us.  
  
"Commander, it is you!" She said leaning down to give me a hug.  
  
"Hi Harriet," I said laughing.  
  
"Who are you?" the Lieutenant Commander rudely.  
  
Instead of answering though I turned to Harriet, "Harriet do you think you can go grab me a towel, the Lieutenant Commander and I seemed to have had a little accident."  
  
Harriet shot me a worried glance, before going to get me the towel.  
  
"Accident! You call purposely bumping me, an accident!"  
  
I crossed my arms over my chest, and shot him an amused glance. Who in the hell did he think he was talking to? As my luck would have it, Lieutenant Singer chose that exact moment to walk over.  
  
"Excuse me Commander Rice, but I think-"  
  
"Lieutenant, if I wanted your opinion I would have asked for it. Don't you have some papers to file or something?"  
  
Loren opened her mouth to reply, but shut it and walked away. That was an occasion all its own.  
  
When Harriet came back with the towel, she had Mac, Sturgis and Bud on her heels.  
  
"Thanks Harriet," I said mopping up my wet legs. Mac was about to say something, but I held up my hand. I didn't think Mr. Know it all Lieutenant Commander was finished yet.  
  
"What is your business in JAG? What did one of our sailors knock you out of your chair, and you've come to collect?"  
  
"Commander-" Mac started, but I put up my hand again. I was actually enjoying watching this guy making a fool out of himself.  
  
"Maybe he'll listen to you Colonel. See if you can tell this- this cripple to get out of ops."  
  
I turned to watch my friend's, as they gave the commander hard angry stares. But what I didn't see was the Admiral standing just a few feet away.  
  
"SNAP TO!" He yelled so loud that I even straightened up in my chair. He walked over to us, standing in between the commander and me. I didn't have to see his face to see the look that the Admiral was giving the commander. I knew it all to well.  
  
And in that low, makes you want to crawl into a hole and hide voice, he went on. "Lieutenant Commander, Colonel, Commander Turner, Lieutenant Roberts, Lieutenant Singer, Lieutenant Simms, Commander Rabb, I want to see you all in my office right now." With that he turned and went back to his office.  
  
After about a second of hesitation, we all followed him without another word.  
  
I rolled into his office first and stood off to the side so everyone else could stand at attention in front of him. He kept them that way for a minute watching each one of them. He leaned on the edge of his desk, and took a deep breath, before telling them to stand at ease; all except the Lieutenant Commander.  
  
"I saw what happened. And I have to say Commander Rice that your performance out there was the most outrageous behavior that I have ever seen!"  
  
"Sir may I-" Rice tried, but the Admiral cut him off.  
  
"No you may not! Lieutenant Commander Rice, I am bringing you up on conduct unbecoming charges. You are here by relieved of duty, and I'll have the MP's escort you to the brig, while you await a hearing. Commander Manitti will be representing you. Commander Turner, you and Lieutenant Roberts, will be prosecuting."  
  
"Yes sir," Bud and Sturgis said in unison.  
  
"But sir-" But before he could finish, the Admiral shot him another deadly glare, so he kept his mouth shut.  
  
We all waited in silence until the MP's arrived to escort him to the brig. As soon as the door shut behind him, the Admiral turned to me.  
  
"Harm, what brings you to JAG?"  
  
"Well I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I would stop by," I said and smiled, but no one else did.  
  
"Sir if I may be excused, I have court in ten minutes." Singer said. After dismissing her, the Admiral looked at me. I guess it was time to start explaining. But I had to know something first.  
  
"Mac, don't tell me Lieutenant Commander Rice is your partner?"  
  
"He is, or was," she said.  
  
"Seemed kind of arrogant," I observed, making everyone chuckle.  
  
We spent the next half an hour in the Admiral's office getting caught up, but I noticed that Sturgis kept quite most of the time, only speaking when he was spoken to, and keeping his answers short. I knew that we needed some one on one time to talk before I left.  
  
TBC 


	4. Back into the game

(Standard disclaimers apply, please read and review)  
March 15-  
  
Commander Rice, as luck would have it, got off easier then I would have expected. He took the plea bargain, which was a reduction in pay, anger management, and community service. I knew Bud was trying to get him out of the Navy, but unfortunately JAG needed him.  
  
Sturgis and I never did get to have that talk. I had to return to California right after the trial, and he was sent on an investigation, so I knew I would have to try and get him to talk to me after he came back.  
  
March 21-  
  
I'm finally starting to get back into the swing of things after my little visit to JAG. This week I'm working on a pretty big murder case, and the media is just eating the fact that their lead prosecutor is in a wheel chair. I feel like some damn sideshow freak. But it wouldn't hurt to boost my reputation a little.  
  
April 2-  
  
I love it now that spring has finally arrived. I found a new exercise spot; I really can't call it a running spot, because I'm not running, just wheeling as fast as my arms can take me. Doing this has kind of been like a sanctuary to me, like running used to be.  
  
I still keep in touch with Mac and everyone, but I kind of feel that I have been thrown out of the loop, because I'm so far away. Yesterday I received a picture of little AJ, God he must have grown another foot since I have seen him last. God I miss them.  
  
April 18-  
  
I know it's been awhile since I have written, but I have just been so busy with work, and haven't had a lot of time. I know, what a lame excuse, but hey it's true. I haven't talked to Mac since the beginning of the month, but I got a call from Harriet the other day and she told me that for little AJ's forth Birthday, she took him for a quick ride in my-well her bi-plane. Man I would have given anything to have been there. To have been the one to have given him that ride.  
  
June 2-  
  
You know just when I thought I was finished with JAG, finished with all of the investigations, with all of the paper work, and most importantly finished will all of Webb's missions, I get sucked back into it.  
  
It all started a week ago, when Mac and Webb paid a visit to my office.  
  
"Afternoon Rabb, I see civilian life is treating you rather well."  
  
"Mac, Webb, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Making an unofficial visit," Mac said sitting down. Even though I saw her a few months ago, she looked good. Donned in a pair of civvies, she looked real good. Made me want to- never mind. If I start thinking like that, then I might do something I'll regret later, time to get back to the task at hand.  
  
"Webb, anything with you is always official."  
  
"Harm, I'm going to level with you," Webb started, but I cut him off.  
  
"Well that would be a first," I said sarcastically.  
  
He nodded to Mac, who went and closed my door. I straighten up in my chair, and asked him what was going on.  
  
"Are you familiar with John Sanders?"  
  
"Yeah, he is a lawyer here."  
  
"Well we think he and his brother, a petty officer Caleb Sanders may have terrorist ties."  
  
"You're kidding, right Web?"  
  
"No I'm not. I brought Mac down here with me to do a little undercover work on his brother who is stationed at Miramar."  
  
"And what do you need me to do?"  
  
"I want you to buddy up to Sanders, and see if he'll let you in on what's going on. We really need you on this Harm."  
  
"What evidence do you have to substantiate this rumor?  
  
Webb handed me a confidential folder, and I have to admit, it was pretty damming evidence. But I still wanted no part of it.  
  
"If you haven't noticed Webb, I'm not working with JAG anymore."  
  
"But it works to our advantage. You may not be a naval lawyer, but I know you haven't lost your sense of honor."  
  
I have to admit that he got me there. So I reluctantly agreed. And if by kind of karma thing John knocked on my door; speak of the devil.  
  
"Hey Harm-oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company."  
  
"No, no, come on in John. John these are some friends of mine- "  
  
"I'm Greg Andrews and my wife Joanna. I just transferred to this firm, and Harm was telling us about Miramar, Joanna just got transferred there."  
  
"It's nice to meet you, I'm John Sanders, I didn't know that we were getting a new lawyer."  
  
"Well it was a last minute decision. I was offered the job here a few years ago, and when Joanna got transferred at Miramar, I called and asked if the job was still open. It was so here I am."  
  
"Hmm, interesting; Joanna, you know my brother is stationed down there. What do you do?"  
  
"I'm a mechanic," she said shaking his offered hand.  
  
He turns back to me, "Harm I wanted to invite you to this new little vegetarian restaurant that I saw yesterday. I was hoping you could help me with the Frederick's trial."  
  
I didn't have to see him, but I knew Webb was giving me this look that said I had better accept.  
  
"Sure, what would be a good time?"  
  
"Well since the trail is tomorrow, I was hoping we could get together tonight, but if you're to busy-" he said indicating to Webb and Mac.  
  
"No, no, I can do that. Say around seven?"  
  
"That would be great, thank Harm. Greg, Joanna it was nice to meet you." He said and left.  
  
We stayed silent a minute, and then Webb finally spoke.  
  
"Well that went better then I hoped. You're still staying with your mother and step father right?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"We'll be there around five to go over some things. We have to go get Mac set up at the base." he said gathering up some papers.  
  
"Mac I didn't know you became a mechanic since I left JAG. And Webb, a lawyer, you surprise me." I couldn't help but tease.  
  
"Cut the crap Rabb," Webb said coolly.  
  
"Very funny flyboy, you have no idea how many months of prep work it took for me to do this."  
  
"Wait you knew about this for months now, and you are just now bring me in on this?"  
  
"Actually once Mac told me that he works for the same law firm that you do, it was her idea to bring you in on this."  
  
I looked at Mac, but chose not to comment. They left a few minutes later leaving me to ponder what I was getting myself into.  
  
TBC  
  
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!! 


	5. Miricals

WARNING: There are some things in here that may make some people uncomfortable, so just bear with me. I really don't think this is what is happening to our Navy, this is just for the benefit for the character. Standard disclaimers apply, and so sorry for the delay. Please read and review.  
Fade in.  
  
June 2nd  
  
Well I arrived fifteen minutes early, just so I would have a few minutes to get settled. Sitting down, I made sure the bug I was wearing was in place, and tried to calm myself down. When I saw him coming towards me, I smiled, and waved him over, all the while wondering how in the hell I was going to pull this off.  
  
"Hey Harm, thanks for coming. Man this case is really getting to me. I've just been so bogged down by the mountains of evidence, that I just don't think I can work it all in by the trial."  
  
"Hey, what are friends for, let's see those folders," I said smiling.  
  
So for the next few hours we went over the case, and I helped him sort out the evidence. I laughed to myself, knowing that Webb and Mac must be having a ball listening to us going over this case. I sighed, knowing it was time to get down to business.  
  
"So tell me John, what do you do when you don't handle all of those tough cases?"  
  
"Let me ask you something Harm, when you got discharged from the navy, were you angry? I mean did you feel like the navy let you down?"  
  
Before I could answer though, he went on.  
  
"I mean look what is going on, look at where we are. We are fighting people who don't even deserve it, people who-" but he stopped himself and took a deep breath.  
  
"You know for awhile there, I just hated life period, but after awhile I knew it was a good thing. I mean the navy is just so screwed up fighting a war that shouldn't be fought."  
  
"You see that is exactly how I feel!" he said excitedly. "You know Harm maybe you can help my brother and me. It's time that we show the Navy just how serious we are about this."  
  
I chose my words carefully, but before I could open my mouth, Webb and his men ran in, and quickly took John in custody.  
  
"Harm, what the hell is this man?" John yelled, over Webb who was reading him his rights.  
  
But before I could answer, they were dragging him out. Mac smiled sweetly and sat down across from me.  
  
"Mac, I thought-"  
  
"John's brother gave us more then enough information to shut both of them down; we just wanted confirmation from your friend there, that he was actually involved."  
  
"So it's over?"  
  
"Yep," she said and picked up my water glass taking a small sip, so much for getting back in the game.  
  
June 19th  
  
After Webb and Mac left, things were finally getting back to semi normal. I wasn't called to testify, but I guess that was a good thing. Mac was right when she said that they had more then enough evidence to put John and his brother away. Both of them are now serving very long jail terms. But I guess it was for the best.  
  
I got back to Mom and Frank's around eight, and went right to bed. Mom had gone out for the evening, and Frank was in the study catching up on some paper work. That's when the first pain hit. A shooting pain ran through my back, a pain like I had never felt before.  
  
When Frank heard my moans, he came running, but didn't know what to do for me. I convinced him I didn't need an ambulance, nor needed him to call mom. I was sure this would pass, but it didn't.  
  
For three long hours I laid in bed, with an unbearable pain running through my back. And when Frank was about to call the ambulance, it stopped. I was still breathing hard, but I felt as if something was different. I sat up as best I could, and that's when I saw it.  
  
My foot moved.  
  
TBC  
  
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	6. Decisions

(Standard disclaimers apply, please read and review. And thanks to r for giving me a good idea about how to end the story.)  
  
June 21-  
  
I know it has been awhile since I have written, almost a whole month to be exact, but things have been real busy around here. So to get all caught up, maybe I should get start at the beginning.  
  
After my foot moved, Frank took me to the emergency room, where mom met me there. After explaining my condition to the doctors, they did a serious of tests, and within a few hours, I was taking my first steps in almost six months.  
  
The team of doctors, (There were quite a few who took an interest in this "miraculous case") told me that I would have to undergo extreme physical therapy to be walking again. But the thing that hit me the most is what he said next.  
  
"If all goes well, maybe by January, provided that you pass the physical exam, maybe you could even return to the Navy."  
  
And that's all it took. I signed up for the therapy.  
  
It was overwhelming to say the least, a chance to return to JAG, a chance to return to Mac.  
  
June 21-  
  
[An excerpt from Mac's Journal]  
  
With the case wrapped up, everything got back to normal at JAG. Well as normal as things can get with Lindsey in the picture. Ever since Harm left, a piece of JAG left with him. It just was never the same when he left. There was no one to tease, when we would get called into the Admirals office. No more late nights at each others places when there was a big case to work on, or when we just wanted to take a break from it all. And I miss all of that; I really do.  
  
I got an e mail from Harm a few days ago just to tell me that everything was getting back to normal after the big upset with John Sanders being a terrorist sympathizer. Although the e mail was pretty long, with him going on about how much he missed Washington, and maybe he would visit soon, I could tell that he wasn't telling me something, like he was holding something back. But there wasn't much I could do about it from here.  
  
July 2-  
  
I remember telling asking the Admiral or Harm, about if killing Singer would be considered justifiable homicide. Today I mentioned that to Bud, because I was about at the end of my rope with Lindsey, he was just driving me crazy. He had made friends with Commander Rice, and the two of them are just too much for me, and Sturgis isn't being much help.  
  
He seems to have slid deeper into his own little world, and just doesn't interact with anyone anymore. The Admiral told me if we didn't need him so bad, he would send Sturgis on a long vacation, preferably to California to get things straightened out with Harm.  
  
August 16th:  
  
I know it has been awhile since I have written, but the last month seemed to be the month for assault. I must have tried more assault cases this last month, then in the past year. Everyone at JAG has been so busy that no one seemed to be getting together outside of work anymore. The JAG softball game was canceled, and so was the picnic and I think above anyone else, that disappointed Harriet more then anyone else. But I didn't really mind missing out on those things. Having to spend time outside the office with Commander Rice and Lindsey just seemed too much to bear.  
September 20th:  
  
Another month coming to an end, and with the case load at a lull, I realized that I haven't heard from Harm in over a month! How in the hell could I have let that happen? I remember he did send me a short e mail awhile ago, telling me that he was doing fine, taking some time off of work.but I couldn't remember why.  
  
I sighed and threw down my pen and gave a frustrated sigh, grabbing the attention of Lieutenant Commander Rice. Walking into my office, without asking, he closed the door and sat down. I bit back a remark just wanting him to say what he had to say and the get out.  
  
"Frustrated Colonel?"  
  
"I guess you could say that?"  
  
"I hope you're not letting it affect your work," he said almost like he was teasing, but with just a hint of resentment.  
  
I chose my words carefully.  
  
Commander Rice, what gives you the right to just walk right into my office, ignoring all military courtesy, and think you can tell me how to do my job?" But before he could answer I went on. "I know you haven't been here long, but that doesn't give you the right to treat people like you are. You have already been brought to trial for that once, keep this up, and you might just find yourself going down that road again."  
  
"Is that a threat Colonel?" He said seeming somewhat amused.  
  
"No, it's a promise. And I don't make I don't intend to keep, and to keep you from making any other career ending mistakes, dismissed."  
  
He snapped to attention and left. Feeling somewhat better, I decided it maybe was time to send Harm an e mail.  
  
[An excerpt from Harm's journal]  
  
Dec. 1st:  
  
As of today, my physical training is over. The doctors, say if I want, I could return back with the Navy. When I talked to the firm about it, they offered me twice what I was making now, and more benefits, but as good as that sounded, I just didn't know.  
  
Do I go back?  
  
TBC  
  
PLEASE REVIEW! The next chapter should be up soon. 


	7. Butterflys and Gold Wings

(Standard disclaimers apply, please read and review.)  
  
Dec 3rd:  
  
I went before a review board here in California to see if I still had it, to be back in the Navy. After some rigorous tests, and physical fitness tests, they cleared me to fly, and to return to JAG. I won't admit this to anyone, but I almost broke down and cried I was so happy. The Admiral who cleared me offered to call Admiral Chegwidden and tell him about my return, but I declined, telling him that I wanted to tell him myself; in person. He smiled, knowing what I meant.  
  
But the decision wasn't an easy one to make. The firm offered my twice what I was making now, and that made it all the more harder to leave, but I still had too. I deliberately chose to not tell anyone in Washington, deciding I would just go to Washington myself and show them.  
  
The first thing I did was reapply for my pilots licenses. It would take a couple of weeks to get the paper work squared away, but I impressed the hell out of those guys; pretty good for some washed up old aviator.  
  
I then gave the firm my two week notice, they were reluctant at first, but I guess they understood where I was coming from.  
  
I called my old landlord in Washington, and was surprised to here that my old apartment was back on the market. He told me the people that were renting it, made no major changes they just needed a place to stay until their house was ready. So now that I had my old apartment, all I had to do was pick up the rest of my life.  
  
Dec 12th:  
  
Well no that I'm sitting on a jet headed back to Washington, I was nervous about what exactly it was that I was going back to.  
  
Dec 20th:  
  
I walked up to Admiral Chegwidden's door, just praying that I wasn't interrupting something. I heard his dog barking, and wondered if maybe I was doing the right thing by trying to pick up my life, but any further thought was interrupted when Admiral Chegwidden opened the door.  
  
To say he was shocked to see me standing at his door, was a major understatement.  
  
"Harm, is that you?" he asked in typical admiral fashion.  
  
"Yes sir, I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time," I said clutching the standard paper work for returning to JAG in my hand.  
  
"How-" he didn't finish, but just shook his head and stood aside to let me in.  
  
He looked at me long and hard as I tried to remain still under his watchful eye. "How? I was there when the doctors said that you would never walk again, how-" but he couldn't finish.  
  
'Sir about four months ago when I was lying in bed one night, I had this shooting pain through my back. It hurt so bad, I thought my back was on fire. A few hours later, in the hospital, I was taking my first few steps. The doctors were just flabbergasted; they called me their miracle patient. Since then I have been working to regain the use of my legs to pass my physical fitness test," I said handing him the folder. "After going in front of a review board, with your permission sir, I will be an active member of the Navy as of January first; I would like to rejoin JAG."  
  
He took the paper work, and studied it carefully before putting it down.  
  
"Have you told anyone else about you miraculous recovery?"  
  
"No sir, I was hoping to surprise everyone."  
  
"Hmm," he said folding his arms across his chest.  
  
"You know on Christmas eve, there will be a charity ball to support Toys for Tots. It's going to be a big event, and everyone will be there."  
  
"And you're thinking I should make my grand entrance there?"  
  
"Well I'm suppose to make a speech, about how much money was raised, here's what I was thinking-"  
  
Dec 24th:  
  
(Told from third person's POV)  
  
The charity ball was in full swing, and everyone was having a good time. From ticket sales alone, the toys for tots' foundation raised over six thousands dollars, so every one was in good spirits.  
  
Admiral Chegwidden paid close attention to Mac, Sturgis, Bud, and Harriet, as he practiced his speech. He had spent hours talking with Harm tomorrow, and couldn't have been more grateful to be getting him back. He wouldn't admit this aloud, but JAG just hadn't been the same without him.  
  
While going for another glass of punch, he had overheard Bud and Harriet talking.  
  
"Isn't this great honey?" Bud asked excitedly.  
  
"Yeah, I guess," she said solemnly.  
  
"What's the matter sweetie?"  
  
"I don't know Bud, it just feel's like something is missing."  
  
"Harriet, we all miss Commander-I mean Harm, but you know there is no possible way that he can be here."  
  
The Admiral smiled to myself, and chose that moment to make his speech.  
  
"I would like to take this time, to thank everyone for coming tonight. Due to your generosity, representatives from toys for tots' are out right now buying toys to put under the tree for our local children. And I also would like to share with you something that really sets the tome for this Christmas. But first I ask that a few members of my staff join me on the stage, Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie; Commander Sturgis Turner; and Lieutenant's Bud and Harriet Roberts."  
  
After the bewildered group joined him on the stage, he went on.  
  
"When my goddaughter was a young girl, I was over visiting, and she had caught, in her words, the most beautiful butterfly. But my goddaughter wasn't very gentle with this butterfly, and she had accidentally rips its wings off. And when she asked me if I could put the wings back on, she cried when I told her that I couldn't, and that the butterfly had died because it lost its wings.  
  
Since September 11th, America has faced many hardships, but even though we may not see it, miracles have been happening, and right under our noses to. A member of my staff, Lieutenant Bud Roberts, lost his leg when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan. It's a miracle that he survived that encounter, but as you see him standing in front of you today, you wouldn't see the man who overcame adversity and the hardships he and his family had endured.  
  
But there is another member of my staff whom you do not see up here today. Commander Harmon Rabb junior was severely injured while playing basket ball with a friend. He had hit his head on the pole, and that caused all of the nerves in his spinal cord to swell. The doctors said that he would never walk again, and so this former aviator turned lawyer, had to face the harsh reality of life. He knew that he was no longer able to continue his naval career. Since then he had moved out west to live with his mother and step father, and was trying to start over again.  
  
You see when I told you that story about the butterfly I wanted you to see what it was like for that butterfly to lose its wings. Because that's what it felt like to Commander Rabb when he lost his wings.  
  
And while I didn't come up here to give you the history on my staff, I did want everyone to believe that miracles can, and do happen. Don't believe me? Well why don't you just ask Commander Rabb," he said motioning to the door where Harm was coming in. Gasps and whispers could be heard throughout the group, as he made his way up to the stage in his dress whites, but there was something missing. Something that Mac noticed right away.  
  
While she stood there unbelieving with the rest of the group, at the sight of Harm walking up to the stage, she noticed that he was missing his wings. The crowd erupted in cheers, but she couldn't bring herself to clap. He could walk?  
  
TBC  
  
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	8. The new game

(Standard disclaimer apply, and remember folks, this is based on a true story. Thanks to all who have been reading and reviewing!)  
  
Dec 24th  
  
After taking my place next to Admiral Chegwidden, I could hear him going on about the adversities I overcame while going through physical therapy, but I could feel the eyes of all my friends looking at me. I stood there a minute doubting if what I did, by not telling them was a good idea or not.  
  
"So I think it's time we give we pin the wings back on our aviator. Colonel Mackenzie, front and center," he said holding out the blue case for her.  
  
She stood in front of me, her eyes wet with tears. I mentally kicked myself, for not telling her.  
  
"Gently marine," I mutter, bring a small smile to her lips.  
  
As the audience cheered, and everyone came over to congratulate me, I saw Sturgis out of the corner of my eye walking off of the stage. I guess the Admiral must have seen it to, because he nodded to me.  
  
I excused myself from the group, and headed for my car. It was time to put plan B into action.  
  
I grabbed my duffle bag out of my car, and quickly changed into a pair of sweats in the men's room, and then headed after Sturgis. I had a pretty good idea where I could find him.  
  
The drive down to the indoor courts was a short one, and I easily spotted Sturgis's car. I grabbed the basket ball from the back seat and quickly made my way inside. Damn it was cold out.  
  
He was sitting on the bleachers with his head in his hands. I started bouncing the ball, shaking him out of his reverie.  
  
"You know Sturgis, you still owe me a game," I said casually passing him the ball.  
  
"Harm, I-" he started to say, but shook his head, and dropped the ball.  
  
Hmm. This was going to be harder then I thought.  
  
"Talk to me man," I said sitting down next to him.  
  
"I don't know what to say Harm," he said quietly. He sprang up off of the bench, and threw the fallen ball against the far wall.  
  
"I mean, one minute we are kidding around after work, the next minute I shove you into the pole, and you can't walk, and now you are parading around the ball like you never even left! Tell me Harm! Tell me how in the hell that happened! I heard what the doctors said; they said you would never walk again!"  
  
"I don't know what happened to me Sturgis," I say getting up to stand next to him. "One minute, like you said, I couldn't walk, but by some damn miracle now I can."  
  
Knowing that he wasn't paying attention, I grabbed him by the neck bring his face closer to mine, and spoke quietly but firmly.  
  
"It wasn't your fault Sturgis, I was just an accident. Accidents happen."  
  
"But damn it Harm, you wouldn't have gotten hurt if it wasn't for me!" He said and started to shake.  
  
I drew him closer to me, and we stood like that for awhile, while he sobbed on my shoulder. It was awkward, I'll admit, but for him it was long overdue.  
  
Once he finished, he gave a small chuckle and wiped at his face.  
  
"Are you ready to play man, or are you just going to chicken out again?" I said throwing him the ball.  
  
"New game?"  
  
"You bet, I'm gonna whip your six this time."  
  
He laughed, and checked the ball.  
  
Looking over my shoulder I noticed we had a small crowd coming in. The Admiral, Mac, Bud, Harriet, Tiner, and Coates had come in and sit on the bleachers still in their dress uniforms. Sturgis had taken his jacket off, and put it over on the bench. Now we were ready to play.  
  
Jan 1st-  
  
It's funny how your life can change in a instant, one minute I was in a wheelchair, the next I was back to working at JAG. For a little welcome back present, the Admiral pulled a few strings and got me an afternoon in an F-14. I couldn't have been happier. I started off slow getting back into the office, not quite ready yet to get back in the swing of things.  
  
Looking back, it's been quite a year. I'm now a firm believer that there are some things that happen that you just can't control, so you just got to roll with the punches I guess.  
  
And it has made me see that chances get lost when you put them off for to long, so that is my new year's resolution for this year, to not put things off any more. And just be grateful for what I have, including Mac.  
  
I set my battered journal down, roll over and stroke Mac's face. She smiles in her sleep, and snuggles closer to me. In a way I kind of owe Sturgis. If it hadn't had been for that accident, I might not be at this point in my life.  
  
It's funny what Miracles and Hardships life can bring.  
  
END  
  
(Please review!) 


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